the sun in still shining

29 started off in the worst possible way but with an overwhelming amount of support from our family & friends I'm still standing and moving forward. That call from my RE nurse just rocked me so hard, as much as you prepare for whatever news comes it still crushes you.  I knew my ultrasound was not very promising but I also thought I'm not calling the shots here so let it go and wait for the news.  We spent the weekend with friends bowling and having a fun times around town. It  was exactly what i needed, wine, friends, laughs, cookie cake & so many facebook/phone call/text message love.  I think the hardest part was reading all of my birthday cards which were obviously written and sent prior to our cancellation.  One card said something like "have the best day ever, one to make the other 364 jealous".  Jeff and I could not stop laughing at the irony since my last words before falling asleep on Friday were " Worst birthday EVER".

The good news is i have a rad sense of humor and i bounce back quickly. Am i over it? absolutely not. Am I already thinking about our next steps? Absolutely.  So today we met with our RE and he was so great,  He was more human than he ever was before, he showed us a lot of compassion and spent a lot of time talking things out with us.  It was reassuring and a good way to end the cycle.  We are going to look into donor eggs both fresh and frozen(holy expensive batman!) and embryo donation for the next three months while we try DHEA to see if that can get my follicle count up.  DHEA is meant to increase androgren & estrogen, there obviously a lot more but I still have a lot of research to do and it's supposedly "a new technique".  Dr. Google help meeee!