The D word.

The new clinic treated us with respect and kindness and for that alone I know we are right where we need to be.  Nest steps include getting my AMH tested to see if the 4 months of DHEA helped improve my antral follicle count.  We are not too hopeful on that front because the amount of progress we would need to make is staggering and the new Doc hasn't seen anything like that happen with such low follicle counts.

I'm not sure how to talk about the Egg Donor process as my feelings on this are scattered.  One minute I'm at peace with the decision, the next I'm just as sad at the reality of our new plan.  I don't want to say I'm 100% over the loss of that special genetic link but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't take a donor egg tomorrow if it meant a baby in 9 months.  I guess that just leaves me confused but above all I want a child more than anything right now.  We will meet with a psychologist in the next couple weeks. This I'm actually really worried about because Jeff and I disagree on how to handle the donor egg information.  Obviously people will know because this is not an anonymous blog and I'm an open book with almost everything.  The bigger topic is how this information is shared or not shared with our child.  The big debate will continue!

Then we'll make sure all blood work is up to date with the new clinic and then get access to the the donor database.  Honestly, preparing to look at a donor database seems so much easier than preparing to stimulate with hoards of drugs & needles.  The other reality is that even a beautifully thawed egg made into a perfect embyro does not necessarily mean a live birth 9 months later. So we will take one step at a time and I can now look forward to making many phone calls during my surgery recovery time next week to get more tests completed and results forwarded.  It's now the paperchase.

Happy weekend everyone - make the best of it.